Saturday, May 29, 2004
A Fellow Bidnezz Man
Thursday, April 01, 2004
Guy walks in, asking if the Onion paper is free. He starts making a stack on the counter, taking one or two each of free paper.
What kind of store is this?
It’s a DVD rental store.
Oh, ok. I run a business and I can provide you with, you know, things you need if you give me a business card.
What kind of business?
All kinds, you know, things related to your business. Things to sell…
Uh, no thanks.
He takes a card anyway.
Dead Man Acting
Sunday, March 28th, 2004
(Pointing up to the Rashomon poster) Hey, that’s Toshiro Mifune, the guy who was in Kill Bill…
From the VFB Credit Dept.
Saturday, March 20, 2004
What do you need to get a membership here?
Driver’s License and a VISA or Mastercard.
Tell me something, why do you need a credit card…
Well…
…Tell me, doesn’t it make more sense to give memberships to people who don’t have credit cards than people who do? I mean if you have credit cards, you have a lot of debt and if you don’t have credit cards, you have more money in your pockets, am I right?
Well…
I mean, why would you give memberships to people with all that debt…
(I start slinking away)
I have great credit and money in the bank but I don’t have a credit card.
Ok, buddy.
(Still talking as he leaves)
The Kid Is Not My Son
Thursday, February 4th, 2004
Guy points to the pictures of customer babies on the wall. “Is that your son?”
“No, these are 8 different white kids… none of whom are mine.”
“Well, some of them are more tanned than you.”
I grimace.
“Ok, have a great night.” Guy makes gun-pointing gesture, winks and makes clicky noise as he exits.
Thursday, April 01, 2004
Guy walks in, asking if the Onion paper is free. He starts making a stack on the counter, taking one or two each of free paper.
What kind of store is this?
It’s a DVD rental store.
Oh, ok. I run a business and I can provide you with, you know, things you need if you give me a business card.
What kind of business?
All kinds, you know, things related to your business. Things to sell…
Uh, no thanks.
He takes a card anyway.
Dead Man Acting
Sunday, March 28th, 2004
(Pointing up to the Rashomon poster) Hey, that’s Toshiro Mifune, the guy who was in Kill Bill…
From the VFB Credit Dept.
Saturday, March 20, 2004
What do you need to get a membership here?
Driver’s License and a VISA or Mastercard.
Tell me something, why do you need a credit card…
Well…
…Tell me, doesn’t it make more sense to give memberships to people who don’t have credit cards than people who do? I mean if you have credit cards, you have a lot of debt and if you don’t have credit cards, you have more money in your pockets, am I right?
Well…
I mean, why would you give memberships to people with all that debt…
(I start slinking away)
I have great credit and money in the bank but I don’t have a credit card.
Ok, buddy.
(Still talking as he leaves)
The Kid Is Not My Son
Thursday, February 4th, 2004
Guy points to the pictures of customer babies on the wall. “Is that your son?”
“No, these are 8 different white kids… none of whom are mine.”
“Well, some of them are more tanned than you.”
I grimace.
“Ok, have a great night.” Guy makes gun-pointing gesture, winks and makes clicky noise as he exits.
